


Champions of Antisocialness and Weirdness

by Emma (Love_is_Blind), Love_is_Blind



Category: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, College AU, F/F, F/M, M/M, Modern AU, Revalink - Freeform, chatfic au, don't be mad pls, maybe sidon will come in later you decide, since i'm not updating 'you're quite girly' have this, stoof
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-03-31 03:27:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13966365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Love_is_Blind/pseuds/Emma, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Love_is_Blind/pseuds/Love_is_Blind
Summary: dirtbag: Link stop changing our nicknames!WinkyLinky: no.dirtbag: well then...➤dirtbag has changed WinkyLinky's nickname to babyface➤dirtbag has changed dirtbag's nickname to burdboibabyface: aw! you think im cute??burdboi: what? where did you get that idea?babyface: well babies have cute faces so you're implying that i have a cute faceburdboi: you're impossiblebabyface: i know :)Zelda: you know we're still here, right?Daruk: yeah➤Daruk has changed Zelda's nickname to princesspoopprincesspoop: wow. real mature, dad➤princesspoop has changed Daruk's nickname to therocktherock: ah. now i know how it feels





	1. in which revali and link are being petty to each other and the others just laugh

**Author's Note:**

> they have MANY nicknames. MANY

Link: I THINK I KNOW THE PERFECT NICKNAMES FOR ALL OF US!!

 

Revali: oh no

 

➤Link has changed Link's nickname to WinkyLinky

 

➤WinkyLinky has changed Zelda's nickname to shakespeare

 

➤WinkyLinky has changed Daruk's nickname to boulderdash

 

➤WinkyLinky has changed Urbosa's nickname to Mom

 

➤WinkyLinky has changed Mipha's nickname to sharpiesharkie

 

Revali: oh no...

 

➤WinkyLinky has changed Revali's nickname to jellybean

 

jellybean: not too terrible i guess

 

WinkyLinky: are you challenging my nicknaming skills?

 

jellybean: link no

 

WinkyLinky: link yes

 

➤WinkyLinky has changed jellybean's nickname to saltysour

 

saltysour: really?

 

WinnkyLinky: yep

 

WinkyLinky: wait i know a better one!

 

➤WinkyLinky has changed saltysour's nickname to dirtbag

 

WinkyLinky: YEET

 

dirtbag: why

 

WinkyLinky: oh hush it suits better

 

 dirtbag: no it don't. stop.

 

WinkyLinky: ok...

 

➤WinkyLinky has reset all nicknames

 

➤Link has changed Link's nickname to WinkyLinky

 

➤WinkyLinky has changed Revali's nickname to dirtbag

 

dirtbag: Link stop changing our nicknames!

 

WinkyLinky: no.

 

dirtbag: well then...

 

➤dirtbag has changed WinkyLinky's nickname to babyface

 

➤dirtbag has changed dirtbag's nickname to burdboi

 

babyface: aw! you think im cute??

 

burdboi: what? where did you get that idea?

 

babyface: well babies have cute faces so you're implying that i have a cute face

 

burdboi: you're impossible

 

babyface: i know :)

 

Zelda: you know we're still here, right?

 

Daruk: yeah

 

➤Daruk has changed Zelda's nickname to princesspoop

 

princesspoop: wow. real mature, dad

 

➤princesspoop has changed Daruk's nickname to therock

 

therock: ah. now i know how it feels

 

➤therock has changed therock's nickname to boulder

 

boulder: im more a boulder tho

 

princesspoop: i guess so.

 

Urbosa: ay

 

babyface: mom, mom's don't say 'ay'

 

Urbosa: well i do. and you've been blowing up my phone so i had to join in

 

Mipha: i think link did a great job on nicknames!

 

burdboi: really mipha? don't encourage him

 

Mipha: especially yours revali

 

burdboi: mipha please stop

 

babyface: don't stop mipha.

 

burdboi: who told you we needed you in this conversation?

 

babyface: me :)

 

burdboi: :')

 

burdboi: i thought you loved me

 

babyface: revali, thats super gay

 

burdboi: but aren't you gay? hm?

 

babyface: good point

 

Urbosa: we've been forgotten

 

boulder: yep

 

princesspoop: agreed

 

Mipha: but its adorable, right?

 

princesspoop: very agreeable


	2. mipha and zelda talk things out in a private chat. urbosa 'accidentally' leaks their chat.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mipha: so, what's with the private chat, zelds?
> 
> princesspoop: i just really need to talk things out with you...
> 
> princesspoop: but before that, i need to change our nicknames
> 
> ➤ princesspoop has changed princesspoop's name to bichimready
> 
> ➤ bichimready has changed Mipha's name to confusedshark
> 
> confusedshark: okay, now what??
> 
> bichimready: well you see..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHAHAHA

burdboi: link i found the strangest thing ever

 

babyface: what?

 

burdboi: i found...

 

burdboi: wait for it...

 

burdboi: out that people ship you with mipha's lil' bro

 

babyface: rlly? i don't see how we would make a good couple. and who campus decided this?

 

burdboi: thats the weird part

 

burdboi: it was sidon himself

 

babyface: what thr frick? i thought that guy didn't know i existed

 

burdboi: well be does and he has a major crush on you, but i heard he's started to fall for some other girl.

 

babyface: who?

 

burdboi: a member of the FishFace Club. idk which one tho

 

babyface: well thats a relief

 

burdboi: why?

 

babyface: that guys like a brother to me. well at high school anyway

 

burdboi: k now im gonna go to sleep, gn hun

 

babyface: gn too hun

 

➤ princesspoop has made the princesses

 

➤ princesspoop has added Mipha

 

Mipha: so, what's with the private chat, zelds?

 

princesspoop: i just really need to talk things out with you...

 

princesspoop: but before that, i need to change our nicknames

 

➤ princesspoop has changed princesspoop's name to bichimready

 

➤ bichimready has changed Mipha's name to confusedshark

 

confusedshark: okay, now what??

 

bichimready: well you see..

 

confusedshark: okay, im living up to my name now, but see what?

 

bichimready: i...

 

confusedshark: you what?

 

bichimready: mipha look, i think

 

confusedshark: you think?

 

bichimready: that i love you..

 

bichimready: or at least have a major crush on you

 

confusedshark: you know, ive been hinting i wanna date you for a month now?

 

bichimready: ? you have? huh, guess im bad at noticing things.

 

confusedshark: yes, yes you are

 

bichimready: okay, so do i decided or you?

 

bichimready: bc i was thinking we could go to a fancy lunch, a park, and then end the night off with a farris wheel ride?

 

confusedshark: and that wed kiss at the top? lets just hang in your apartment

 

bichimready: sounds good. :)

 

confusedshark: so, be there next tuesday at 8?

 

bichimready: perfect

 

confusedshark: night sweetie

 

bichimready: night baeb

 

**••¤(`×[¤ TIMESKIP ¤]×´)¤••**

 

Urbosa was just sitting on the couch, humming as she watched a compilation of kids being badass.

 

That's when she saw Zelda's phone, just sitting on the counter. Zelda was in the bathroom showering and she was gonna take a while, so Urbosa took the opportunity to snoop.

 

She already knew the passcode, as the group of friends, and developing lovers, had agreed that they would share their passcode, just in case one needed to check something but didn't have their phone AND everyone was sleeping. It happened more frequently than you would expect. Especially with Mipha, always busy actually socializing and other stupid stuff, meaning she forgot her phone a lot.

 

Once inside, she saw that Zelda had made a private chat for herself and Mipha. Reading all the messages, she smirked. She quickly shared the conversation with everyone else, laughing evilly inside.

 

**Ⓔⓝⓓ ⓞⓕ Ⓢⓣⓞⓡⓨ Ⓦⓡⓘⓣⓘⓝⓖ**

 

babyface: 0w0...

 

burdboi: i thought youd be more excited link

 

babyface: MY SHIP HAS FINALLY SAILED!!!

 

burdboi: yes, yes it has, but that doesnt mean you have to scream

 

boulder: feck yes! finally, they've been dancing around the truth for at least two months

 

Mom: darock, no cursing on the christian server

 

boulder: fine, but youll still give me some of the pIE? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

Mom: not if you dont watch your language

 

boulder: but urbosaaa

 

babyface: shut up dad, stop whining

 

burdboi: mother's right

 

babyface: mother?

 

burdboi: yeah why not?

 

bichimready: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! URBOSA, HOW DARE YOU!?

 

confusedshark: URBOSA WHY!?!?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> " 


	3. in which daruk discovers retarded texting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> burdboi: hgovuegcuwhxgfucybuhfgrevfuy SOMEONE STOP DARUK PLEASEE
> 
> confusedshark: HE IS MAKING ME LOSE MY BRAIN CELLS LIKE MARBLES PLEASE SEND HELP
> 
> bichimready: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH WHO INTRODUCED HIM TO THIS!?!?!
> 
> Mom: it was probably purah
> 
> babyface: NOOOO IM GONNA KILL HER, WHAT KIND OF READING TEACHER DOES THIS?!?!
> 
> burdboi: someone please help me... my brain is dying from the retardedness of this
> 
> bichimready: me too
> 
> confusedshark: *dies*

boulder: guys...

 

babyface: what up dad?

 

burdboi: yea

 

boulder: i have discoverd something magical

 

confusedshark: and what that.

 

boulder: i have learned... RETARDED TEXTING! i will luv this 5eva

 

Mom: daruk no...

 

boulder: daruk yis >:3

 

bichimready: what is happening??

 

boulder: morning bby

 

bichimready: ... no.

 

boulder: yes

 

Mom: no

 

babyface: no

 

burdboi: no

 

confused shark: no

boulder: yis, yis, yis, n yis

 

babyface: Mooooooooooooooooooooooooom

 

burdboi: hgovuegcuwhxgfucybuhfgrevfuy SOMEONE STOP DARUK PLEASEE

 

confusedshark: HE IS MAKING ME LOSE MY BRAIN CELLS LIKE MARBLES PLEASE SEND HELP

 

bichimready: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH WHO INTRODUCED HIM TO THIS!?!?!

 

Mom: it was probably purah

 

babyface: NOOOO IM GONNA KILL HER, WHAT KIND OF READING TEACHER DOES THIS?!?!

 

burdboi: someone please help me... my brain is dying from the retardedness of this

 

bichimready: me too

 

confusedshark: *dies*

 

Mom: the kids are right, stop it daruk

 

boulder: na man, dis be da coolz

 

confusedshark: are you fucking kidding me.

 

burdboi: wow, miph's cursing? daruk's really screwed.

 

babyface: probably.

 

Mom: there is no 'probably'. this is a case of 'definitely'.

 

bichimready: i almost feel bad for him

 

boulder: y u all h8 me? i just liek talkin liek dis. is fun ;-;

 

burdboi: shit he's using emoticons.. fuck this shit i'm out.

 

➤ burdboi has disconnected.

 

babyface: DARUK!! look what you've done! >:(

 

boulder: :ppp

 

confusedshark: daruk open the door, im right outside.

 

boulder: shit...

 

confusedshark: open the door.

 

boulder: waLP! thyme to run for mah life! baii!!

 

_~Le Magical Story Writing~_

 

Daruk opened his window just in case and slowly unlocked the door, waiting for the click. When it came, he booked it and jumped out of the window, but there were stairs, so it's fine. Mipha chased after him and Daruk practically fell from the steps to the ground and ran into the woods at the back of their college, all the while praying for his life.

 

When he finally reached the woods and was sure Mipha wasn't after him anymore, he took out a knife and carved: 'DARUK + RETARDED TEXTING'.

 

And at the bottom, which smaller writing, he wrote 'The things we do for love.'

 

Yep. Daruk officially is in a relationship with retarded texting. Just time before he starts misspelling 'bazooka'.

 

But he didn't text like that anymore.

 

For at least that day.

 

_EVIL._

 

_~End of the Magical Story Writing~_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time on 'Champions of Antisocialness and Weirdness'...
> 
> burdboi: I have officially decided to talk more sophisticatedly.
> 
> ➤ burdboi has changed his name to Revali


End file.
